Tonya uses advocacy, poetry, and lived experience to help empower others with intellectual and developmental disabilities
“People with Autism are easy-going. You just need to give us a chance and get to know us,” says Tonya with a gentle, playful giggle. Her words are straightforward and warm, exactly like her.
Tonya is a CFS participant, a New Jersey Self-Advocacy Ambassador, and most recently, a poet!
She’s direct but always kind. She says what she means and means what she says—and in speaking with her, you realize that her way of moving through the world is refreshingly uncomplicated: listen to people, believe them, include them, and make space for them to be themselves.
Recently, Tonya wrote a poem titled What Autism Means to Me, in which she reflects on how people with autism have different abilities, interests, and ways of experiencing the world.
“Those differences should be understood and celebrated,” she says. “People with autism can do so many different things, and they catch on really quickly.”
More than anything, she wants people to understand something simple: People with autism need to be included, respected, appreciated, and understood.
“I don’t need much. I’m happy when I’m just included,” she says with her signature giggle.
But, under that giggle is such a profound sentiment put forth so simply. All of us want to be included, and her desire to help people feel seen and understood extends into her advocacy work as well.
As a New Jersey Self-Advocacy Ambassador, Tonya works closely with other advocates to help them find and use their voice. She supports outreach efforts, connects with diverse communities, and works alongside CFS staff—including Ashley, an Innovative Direct Support Professional at CFS—to encourage people to speak up.
Tonya speaks proudly about the work they’ve done together. “We’re building it more,” she says. “Everything I’ve worked on with Ashley, I’ve enjoyed.”
One project especially close to Tonya’s heart is the Transition Series Education, an initiative she worked on with Ashley to help individuals and families navigate major life transitions with greater confidence and support.
The series creates space for conversations people don’t always have openly, such as learning to live independently, managing changes in health, coping with loneliness, adjusting to new stages of life like menopause, or simply, adjusting to new living conditions. Tonya actively practices speaking about these difficult experiences herself, leading by example.
Beyond her poetry and her incredible work as an advocate, Tonya is fun-loving and active. She loves Broadway, plays baseball, softball, kickball, and volleyball. She also enjoys art and all sorts of puzzles—Disney puzzles, dog puzzles, and 500-piece puzzles straight out of the box.
Tonya would also love to travel more, and California is high on the list.
“I’m a Jersey girl all the way,” she says proudly. “Jersey is great, but I want to see other places too. California. I want to see the ocean—even though I definitely don’t want to go too far out. I may not come back,” she adds with a smile.
One thing about Tonya becomes clear when speaking with her: She knows what she wants. She wants to see new places, but also protects her comfort zone. She wants support when navigating unfamiliar environments. She wants a home where she feels comfortable and at peace. And she isn’t afraid to advocate for those needs.
That same clarity of purpose extends to her goals for the future. Tonya wants to run her own workshops and meet with different advocates to help develop better systems for people with I/DD.
“I would love to do workshops where I can meet more advocates and get new ideas from them too,” she says excitedly, adding with a laugh that as long as she has someone next to her, she’s good.
Tonya is perceptive, self-aware, and confident. Perhaps that’s what makes her such a brilliant advocate—she not only knows what she wants for herself, but also wants to help others find their voice too.
This seems to be an approach she carries into everything she does, including her poetry. Tonya believes in sharing experiences openly so others can learn from them.
For Tonya, poetry offers people that space. “Poetry is easier to put down on paper. As opposed to keeping your feelings in.”
Whether she is speaking about autism, loneliness, health, housing, or life transitions, Tonya believes in saying what needs to be said rather than keeping it bottled up.
“If I can, then you can,” she says, matter-of-factly.
It’s a simple phrase, but it captures everything she hopes to achieve—as an advocate, a poet, and a mentor. By sharing her story, Tonya is helping herself, yes. But she’s helping others find their voice, too.
Perhaps that’s exactly what happens when you give someone a chance and take the time to appreciate and accept them!
